Bitchy or Assertive? What's the Difference

25 Jul

So far, readers on my blog have been treated to a nice, mellow version of me.  I guess that some of you, especially those who don’t personally know me, may be thinking that the “bitch” in the title of this site has been a misnomer.  Well, you might want to stand back and hold onto something, because a bitch fit is bound to come your way…

So here goes:

It is 4 am and I have been working for hours on my laptop.  Since the workday (night, whatever) is almost over, I unwind by checking my messages and email.  A private message from an old acquaintance pops up on my notifications so I go over and open it.  Here is what it contains:

Hi, you have a blog na din pala.  Okay naman siya, medyo hindi pa lang ganun kaganda kasi beginner ka pa lang but just give it time you will improve din.  (Hi, I see that you also have a blog.  It’s okay, although its not that good since you’re just a beginner.  Just give it time and you will improve too.)

She goes on to share her blog URL, which she proudly tells me she has been maintaining since 2005.  Rather pissed at the patronizing and self-promoting message, I head over to her site though it pains me that I will add my visit to her site stats.  And I am so glad that I did, just all I see are posts that have poor grammar, studded with random pictures and videos that nobody else outside of her immediate family will care to take interest in.  The site (which I will not publish to avoid giving her any kind of publicity) is just a high school girl’s online diary.

How dare she?  How dare she!!!!

And in this instance, being a bitch can be such an invaluable thing to be.

In high school, I would have just smiled and made a noncommittal remark.  You see, she was one of the more popular girls back then, while I was an awkward geek who would rather read than chatter during free periods.  I was an odd duck, going to the bathroom by myself (gasp!) and would rather eat alone if my friends –as opposed to just classmates– happened to be occupied.  In the years that have passed since then, I grew scales and morphed into a bitch.

So, with a wicked delight, I gave her a rebuttal, citing the many weaknesses of her site and ending with a comparison of our Alexa ranks, all couched in the same fake and syrupy tone she used on me.

You see, in our culture, women are not expected to be as straightforward in their own acknowledgment of their skills and talents.  From childhood, girls are taught to be modest and self-effacing for fear that they would grow up to be arrogant.  There is a term usually applied for women who happen to know that they are fabulous– bitch.

Well, call me a bitch because I am fabulous and boy, don’t I know it.  I will not smile and just nod as you hurl insults right at my face–even if you do so in a syrupy disguise.  I will toot my own horn, because I don’t expect anybody else to do it for me.  Right now, I am typing in a Lotus position and repeating this mantra over and over again: myblogisbetterthanyours myblogisbetterthan yours myblogisbetterthanyours nyanyanyanyanya….

I do have faults, true, and I am certainly far from perfect.  But then again, faults and flaws should not take away from the positive aspects of who you are.  And this goes for you, as well as for me.

I hope you readers out there know better than to let others make little of your efforts.  I hope that when someone gives you a compliment, you accept it gracefully instead of making your attributes seem less important.  And most specially, I hope that when someone dishes out crap, you just toss your hair saucily and walk away.  Furthermore, if you have a daughter, I hope you teach her these things too.

Happy bitching.

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